a little bit about me...

I thought I would take a second and tell a little about...well...me!
I have been thought allot in my life, not as much as some, but for me allot. When I was young I was a ballerina and loved my little black body suit, I can still close my eyes and see my dance studio and all my little friends in my class, oh I was in love with it! then the unthinkable happened, I was in a bike accident and it left me with no skin in my left ankle, in a wheel chair and unable to dance the years passed and I started to put my passion for dance in the back on my mind and I took on competitive swimming, I had been a swimmer all my life and had spent more time in the water since my injury so it seemed the thing to do, I had a competitive edge and loved the rush of the race I was in my element every time I hit the water, but one weekend before a big swim meet that we had been training hard for I slipped and fell while goofing around one afternoon and to my dismay I torn the ligaments in my leg and was put in a cast, unable to compete, it crushed me, I had to watch from the side lines, not good for someone who is as competitive as me! that brought me down hard! and really I think that's were I things got worse for me, no being able to do the things I loved really took its toll, I started eating when I was depressed and unhappy and then I could do nothing to take the weight off that I was gaining because I would be in pain and slowly it just become habit, if I was unhappy I filled it with food, if I was board I would fill my time with food, quickly becoming depressed with how I was looking and feeling and it would start all over again. Now hear I sit today, unhappy, unhealthy but with a hope to move out of this funk and get back to the me I really am! not many people in my life know about the things I have done in my life because its not something I talk about much but really they are a big part of who and why I am what I am today. I often wonder what my life would be life If I were still a dancer or a swimmer, but really I am both just not on a big stage or at a swim meets, I am both in my heart and in my living room ;) I find people oftener underestimate my ability and I tend to not try because if I don't do well I am doing exactly what people were expecting from me so its easier to just not feel into that, but I hope that once day I can show myself that I am still the same person and the inside that used to do all those things, because I miss that girl and think its about time she made a comeback!

one more thing...

just one more thing about my big day, I have to give a shout out to Lindsee who was the only frined that go me a real somthing, and I LOVE it, she knows what I like ;) thanks girl and happy B day to you too!!

So Far So Good...

Well my live well eat well project is under way and all is going well, bit by bit it gets easyer and easyer and I look forweard to the long turm pay off, to help me along I have started taking Nani necter, and I cant say that is tastes good but it is supposed to be great for you, and I will keep you posted on how it dose. its bed time but I will keep you posed on my progress!

Just another day....

Well I write this post, 7 days after my big day....my 25th birthday that is. and to me it was a big one, very big...but I cant say it was the best I have ever had, rather disapointing if you ask me, dont get me wrong, the day itself was wonderful, I got to sleep in and go for mexican for lunch and then my Fam. took me to the Keg for dinner, it was great! my sister got me concert ticks and my mom helped me pay for my my Vaca. it was all great, but thats were the greatness ends. now for most, a birthday is just another day, but in my world, in my head its not, its MY day, and I would think that it would be a day most people would take the extra effort to call and say hi, but for me thats not how it went, it seems as I get older I get less and less, I dont mean acctual gifts, though the only ones I got are the ones I listed above, ones that left me with great memories but nothing to hold in my hands, I dident get anything from anyone outside my house, no phone calles no notes or cards, I got one e-mail that simply said 'happy birthday' and I got a few congrats while we were out and about but really from the people in my life that mean the most, nothing. Most of the people I know have more friends and partys and such, and I guess I was hoping that maybe this year would be my year but no luck! I thought all those years of great gifts and loving cards and such would finaly pay off, but well...no luck....maybe thats just how it was ment to be, and I dont write this to get pitty from my friends or family I just need to get out my feelings in some way without pointing fingers and anyone, this is more of a personal vent than pointing fingers , well I think I will stop hear, I have made may point and will head to bed feeling a little better to get that of my chest but a little disapointed as I know I have a friends birthday coming up, just a reminder of all I dident get of my "just another day".

P.S Thanks to Crystal for picking up the tab at Saabies, it was great to catch up!

The 8 week Plan

Wahooo! I am back fresh from VaCa. and boy was it well needed! I will fill you in on all the good details in a future blog , but today its all about my 8 week plan, yup I have a plan and I am hoping that like I have said befor, but posting it on hear, I will be held more accountabul! this is what my plan is going to look like, starting Sunday (I cant start befor then cuz my birthday is on Thursday and that would just suck! ) I am going to cut Sugar from my diet and most meat, only having a small amout of white meat and fish as well as cutting out most dairy and Introducing vitamin/miniral and protine suplaments every morning. ontop of this is my 5 day a week work out plan, and I am getting my self 100 min of tanning for my birthday! with all of this I should be on the road to being fit and fab by the time summer hits. and just to make sure I dont fall of the bandwagen I am going to set up a reward for myself like maybe a small trip or a shopping spree of some kind, ooooooh this going to be fun! wish me luck, and I'll keep you posted! Ciao